What is going on with me, I wonder? I've been back in the States for exactly 3 years, to the month. You would think I would have gotten over wanting to go back to Korea by now. But, I haven't. Why? Or, more precisely, why not? That is what I am wondering these days. True, I had the opportunity to teach overseas again, starting last month, but at the last minute the doors to that opportunity closed for me. But, why do I have this lingering desire to return to that country? Is it because I truly have a calling for ministry in that country? Is it homesickness for my previous home? I do endear and miss Korea. That leaves me to question myself, what about Korea do I miss? I miss the fellowship. I miss the friendships. I miss the hanging out with people. I miss a good Korean cooked meal. But, I also miss having the money to afford buying a nice Korean meal. I miss my feeling of independence. I miss the feeling of closeness with good friends. And, I miss the feeling of having a good job, a job that I enjoyed, and felt like I was doing something good for humanity and mankind.
There were hard, challenging times too. I mustn't forget those! Am I having a hard time readjusting to the American culture, and way of life, even 3 years later? Or, is Someone speaking to me? So, this is what I am thinking about these days. How I long to go back to Korea, but the door is seemingly closed for me at this time. In the meantime, I am doing other things to occupy myself. I have a new pad I'm moving into this weekend, that is nearly rent-free. And, I spend my time job hunting, applying, and getting discouraged about nothing turning up yet!! True, I have a job tutoring, but, I haven't received any students to tutor yet, so, it's like having a job but no hours to work. I pulled out some money from a savings account to live. I visit the food pantry and/or volunteer there and get some food that way. I'm sure a good thing is going to happen to me soon!! to be continued...
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