Christmas 2010

Today I am counting my blessings of the past month and holiday season. I have many wonderful memories this month of taking time to be together and do seasonal things. I think it began Thanksgiving Day when we were sitting around the dining room table discussing the date for making tamales. We selected the 11th of December because that was the best weekend for us. So, as we made tamales, an all day project I might add, that is time consuming and involves a decent amount of work, we listened to holiday music. Traditionally, in many Mexican families, tamales are made on Christmas Eve. But, that evening wasn't going to work well for us because we had other plans for that evening. I just remember feeling so happy that we had started making tamales so early in the season (or month). It just felt like Christmas to me earlier, and prolonged the season for the entire month. That was fun!

The following weekend we went to see my sister perform in a show called A Contemporary Nutcracker. We made the long drive from Anaheim to Hollywood IN THE POURING RAIN. Thank God we made it safely, both ways. I just loved being together with my siblings, enjoying conversation and hanging out. (We should do it more often). After Mia's performance, we took pictures and then had dinner together at PF Chang's Restraunt. Because of the rain, and being the last Sunday before Christmas, there were holiday shoppers galore, and it took us so long to park. But, nevermind, we were together, hanging out, and having fun! (Thank goodness for Cupie's navigational skills. She was VERY GOOD with directions, so I was glad to have her in the car with us. Not the only reason, but just one). We ordered appetizers, and shared. Mia ordered the eddammame ( I probably just messed up the spelling) and they were so good; warm, soft and delicious. Jay ordered some ribs that were equally tasty. And, since Jay was traveling up northern California for Christmas this year, it felt like an early Christmas dinner with him. So, I was glad to have that time with him then. After this evening, I felt so much love and joy from being together with my fam. This night was definately one of the highlights of my December.

I loved seeing the Christmas lights on the homes in Brea near Starflower street. It was fun to dress up in our warmies: I think I had like 2 or 3 layers on, including legwarmers, a scarf and a warm jacket!

There was also a Christmas play at the Vineyard (our church). I really enjoyed seeing the play and being reminded of the Christmas story centering on Jesus' birth. We also sang Christmas songs on the following Sunday, and I enjoyed that as well.

Christmas Day was again spent with family. I picked up my brother and we drove together to our parent's house. Our grandma was there and we had dinner together. It was a fun, unexpected treat of opening presents as well. (Who doesn't like to receive and open gifts?) My dad drove from Anaheim all the way to Mission Viejo, to pick up my grandma and then again, IN THE RAIN, to take her home. My grandma was very appreciative of him; she loved seeing her grandkids and she said it felt like an "old fashioned" Christmas, I think she called it.

For me, I am glad I got to have multiple memories of Christmas this year. We made tamales, looked at the Christmas lights, saw A Christmas Carol onstage, watched Mia perform in The Nutcracker, had family dinner together, and visited with the grandmas on both sides of the family. I sang Christmas carols in church, watched a Christmas play, and listened to my good friend play piano (Nackwon). So many good memories. Grateful for the time together. Had an enjoyable holiday season. Spending time with family. Getting along. Talking. Laughing. Receiving gifts; not expecting to but, the saying is true: it's better to give than to receive. I think my parents enjoying giving as they are able.

A Christmas Carol

Every year one of our family Christmas traditions has been a girls night out. During the holidays we would get together and see a musical performance. Sometimes with the girl cousins and aunties, and sometimes just my immediate family with my mom and sister. As of late, we hadn't continued in this tradition because for a while my sister and I were traveling for our jobs and hadn't always been around during the holidays at the same time. However, this year is different. We're both around!! So, last night my mom gave us a lovely Christmas present and we watched "A Christmas Carol" as a live performance. Even though I've grown up with most of all the holiday and seasonal stories, I was not familiar with this one. It was a "first" moment for me. If you are familiar with the storyline of A Christmas Carol then you'll know what I mean: it left me with a warm feeling inside. If you're not familiar with the storyline then I would highly recommend you read the book or rent the movie and watch. Thanks, Mom for that holiday treat!!

Oh Korea, How I Totally Miss You~

What is going on with me, I wonder? I've been back in the States for exactly 3 years, to the month. You would think I would have gotten over wanting to go back to Korea by now. But, I haven't. Why? Or, more precisely, why not? That is what I am wondering these days. True, I had the opportunity to teach overseas again, starting last month, but at the last minute the doors to that opportunity closed for me. But, why do I have this lingering desire to return to that country? Is it because I truly have a calling for ministry in that country? Is it homesickness for my previous home? I do endear and miss Korea. That leaves me to question myself, what about Korea do I miss? I miss the fellowship. I miss the friendships. I miss the hanging out with people. I miss a good Korean cooked meal. But, I also miss having the money to afford buying a nice Korean meal. I miss my feeling of independence. I miss the feeling of closeness with good friends. And, I miss the feeling of having a good job, a job that I enjoyed, and felt like I was doing something good for humanity and mankind.

There were hard, challenging times too. I mustn't forget those! Am I having a hard time readjusting to the American culture, and way of life, even 3 years later? Or, is Someone speaking to me? So, this is what I am thinking about these days. How I long to go back to Korea, but the door is seemingly closed for me at this time. In the meantime, I am doing other things to occupy myself. I have a new pad I'm moving into this weekend, that is nearly rent-free. And, I spend my time job hunting, applying, and getting discouraged about nothing turning up yet!! True, I have a job tutoring, but, I haven't received any students to tutor yet, so, it's like having a job but no hours to work. I pulled out some money from a savings account to live. I visit the food pantry and/or volunteer there and get some food that way. I'm sure a good thing is going to happen to me soon!! to be continued...

Seek 1st the Kingdom of God...

So, lately I've been thinking alot about this verse, "Seek 1st the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you as well." Jesus taught this. My thoughts are, well, what does it mean, to seek 1st the kingdom? And, how does one do it? To me, seeking the kingdom of God 1st means to have a kingdom mentality. To be a kingdom minded person. To have and to want above all else God's rule and God's reign operating in my life, personally, locally, and globally. To get up in the morning and seek 1st the KOG includes prayer and Bible reading. And, reading another helpful book right now, "Become a Better You" by Joel Osteen. I'm sure there are more applications for this verse, but, these are a few that I've been pondering lately. to be continued...

Would Anyone Like to...?

한국어 공부고십어요...

Thoughts on Lonliness...

I've learned a few things about lonliness in my lifetime, and, I'd like to share them with you. My hope is that you, or someone you know, would be encouraged by my words!

First of all, lonliness is not forever!! Lonliness passes. It might come and go, but, it definately goes away!! Having said that, of course passing through a season or time of lonliness is not fun at the moment, but, remember, that's all it is, is a passing through. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

to be continued...

Disappointment

What do we do when disappoint comes? We can wallow in our sorrow or we can pick up the pieces and move on. I think that we need to experience the grief that comes with disappointments in life, and then move on. Yes, I do admit, the grieving process may not be fun at times, but, it is necessary for growth and survival. Hopefully, God gives us a circle of friends that we can grieve with. Know that God feels our pain too. And, as time passes, and we experience the various phases of the grieving process, healing comes too. There is joy in the morning! After darkness comes the light. So, if you or someone you know is dealing with a disappointment in his/her life, let them know that there is light at the end of the tunnel! Indeed, grieve, and mourn the loss of whatever it was that brought you sorrow. But, take heart, my friend, God has not abandoned you. God has not forgotten about you. Let yourself be loved by God and the friends of God. Open up your heart to a trusted friend and there you find your healing.

Things to Do~

Things I can do to keep busy~ while waiting for my new job to start!!

1. Study Korean.
2. Study Spanish.
3. Look for a part time job.
4. Volunteer~help bag groceries in the warehouse.
5. Play guitar.
6. Visit family/friends.
7. Take a yoga or dance class at the gym.
8. Write my thank you notes.
9. Sleep alot-NOT!!
10. Stay busy. Stay productive!
11. Help Joey with his business.

Allright, looks like there's plenty to do to stay occupied until new position starts. That's what I better do!!

CDs for Sale~Used

I'm gonna be selling some of my CDs for about $3.00. Let me know if you or anyone you know is interested in buying. Send email to mo4him97@yahoo.com or facebook me!

Chicago 17
New Edition, All for Love
Sheryl Crow, The Globe Sessions

Jeff Searles, Inside Me
Jennifer Knapp, Kansas
Michael W. Smith, Go West Young Man
Point of Grace, life love & other mysteries

You Are in Control, Touching The Father's Heart, Live Worship
Jesus Lead On, Touching The Father's Heart, Live Worship
I Bow Down, #11, Touching Th Father's Heart, Live Worship Songs of the Vineyard
Hear Our Cry, #7, Touching The Father's Heart, Live Worship Songs of the Vineyard

Canciones de la vina,Spanish Vineyard Music CD

Worship Alive, Volume 1, Calvary Chapel Music, Live worship series
The Spirit and the Bride, The Worship of Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa
Passion for His Presence LIVE, People of Destiny

Unspoken Truth, Recorded Live!

How to Get More Free Time in Your Life...

Trade kids once a week with your neighbor. In the morning. From 9-12. Or whatever works for you. On Mondays you take her kids. On Tusdays she takes yours. Then you can have a time of solitude, just for you! Take a bath. Read a book. Meditate. Read the psalms. Whatever floats your boat! Take some time for you. Get that rejuvenation. Help a friend in the process. Sounds like a win-win situation to me! From your friendly neighbor, Monica. Here to help!

Family Ties

This is one of my favorite photos. My nephew is catching a fish! WOW!! And, his uncles are there to watch him. It's neat because the 3 brothers are there together. Definately a "KODAK" moment.

Modern Day Psalm

I feel like crying right now.

My job is down to 3 days a week.

Really?

How am I going to pay for my rent? food? bills?

Actively searching for a new job.

Frantic.

Really.

This stinks now.

But God has a plan, right?

That's what I'm counting on.

Banking on Him.

To come through for me.

Again!

I hope!!

I Want You in My Life...

Did you ever feel like there was a group of friends, and you felt like you belonged? You didn't have to do anything special, but you could just be yourself, and you belonged to the group? God recently showed me who my friends are; not just who my friends are, but who my LIFETIME friends are. The ones closest that I will get to always be friends with, even if life or circumstances change. We will always be friends. Christian friends. I was at a friend's house last week, and, just by being together, I realized that these friends, who had been in my past, would also be in my future Lord-willing of course. These are my friends who feel as close as family to me. So, I thank God for putting godly people in my life.

Focus on God's Goodness...

Girlfriends from church. Girlfriends for life. Girlfriends with biblical worldviews. Girlfriends who love God, family, church, and me!!
Life is such an interesting thing. We never know the turn of events that may happen. There is always a good thing up ahead, just around the corner, in my humble opinion. For example, my girlfriend, Nackwon, had a birthday party for her daughter to which I was invited. And, one of my old roommates, and friends, Jill, was there. What a treat it was (for me) to get to see and talk with her!! I love how God has these little surprises along the way for us on our journeys. No matter what is going on in our lives, we have to remember and focus on God's goodness, all the time. God is good, let us focus on that.

Everything Good, part 1

Some of my good qualities are: I have a pretty smile. I have a great personality! I am compassionate and kind hearted. I am organized. I am clean and neat. I speak Spanish moderately and some Korean too. I like to help people. I enjoy deep conversations and laughter too. I am an amazing, beautiful, masterpiece!!
to be continud...

Excitement

I am very very very very very very very, excited. I have a telephone interview this week for a new job. Oh, it is an answer to prayer.

Passion

Tonight one of the questions we discussed was passion. We talked about what is passion, and different people shared their thoughts on what passion is. I liked how David described passion as our default thinking mode, or something to that effect. Passion could be described as what we spend our free time thinking about. It is what we get excited about(Cliff). Passion is reflected in what we talk about (Katie). Passion is how we spend our time. So, with these definitions in mind, I began to think about what passions I had. And, I felt like a few things popped up. One of my strong desires is to master the Korean language. Another way I have enjoyed spending time in the past was through guitar, and specifically, playing gospel songs. I realized from this discussion that is a passion-lost, or a passion-hidden or forgotten. Another thing I am always doing at work is inviting people to come to my church. These three things are my passions. However, I am desiring to think more about what I am exited about, and how I spend my time, to become more clear about what are my passions. I also enjoy blogging here. That might be one of my passions too.

What? Me, Happy?

Well, I wasn't sure what title to give this blog for today. Nevertheless, my mood lately has been one of happiness. I have been meeting with friends lately, for dinner, for yougurt, for coffee. Talking and sharing one's life with others brings about a certain kind of joy, a certain kind of happiness, of which I am currently experiencing. I like this feeling.

Lately I've Been Thinking About...

Indescribeable...
Amazing...
Too good to be true...
Unbelieveable...
Wonderful...
Fantastic...
Marvelous...
Magnificent...
Astounding...
Gospel
of
JESUS CHRIST!!
Gratitude and thanksgiving
Praise and honor
All for You~
All for You~

What is God's Heart Towards Me?

Last week I was coming home from work. (I live with a new family now.) The kids I live with were playing inside one of the bedrooms that has a window. So, as I was driving by they saw me. And, one of them, Joseph, when he saw me in the car, immediately left the playing in the bedroom, ran to the front door, and greeted me with a big, warm hug!! Now, that's love!! As I reflected upon the 2 year old's actions, it reminded me of God's heart towards me. Indeed, God sees me. He notices my every move. Also, our God is a welcoming God. He invites and welcomes us into His presence. Finally, our God is a warm and generous God. He embraces us. I told his parents that I would remember their son's actions for a very long time. Indeed, God is revealing Himself even in our everyday lives.

Encourage one another daily

So today, our pastor, Lance Pittluck, spoke on encouragement. We all need it. We all want it. And, we're all able to give it out to each other. As he was speaking, I was thinking/reflecting about the many times that God has sent the people to encourage me. If I was living abroad, God sent people to be an encouragement to me. I can't count the number of times we met together for coffee, ice cream, meals and outings together. He also used me to be an encouragement to others. Lance also talked about how when we meet together in Christ's name, that has an encouraging effect on us. I have experienced that exact very thing as I've participated the past year in our FLOW group (family life on wednesdays). As I reflect on my life now, He's continued to send encouraging people into my life. And, I hope to grow in becoming an encourgement to those around me, by God's grace.

New Shoes

Nackwon came to my work tonight! We had dinner together, dessert and fruit too. Then we drove to my house to pick up my voucher for a free pair of work shoes and off to Payless Shoes we went. I found just the right shoe in just the right size. I really like the style, and the price. All I had to pay was $2.61 for tax, and the shoes were F-R-E-E, free!!

I Want You to Have Life

I read book of Romans tonight and felt a desire to attempt to paraphrase God's message. I hope it offers the reader a message of hope and truth. My apologies in advance for any theological simplicities or omissions, for that is not my intent. I simply want to convey a message of hope and truth for the reader.

Yes, you are a sinner. I know that. I want you to know that. That is why I had Moses record the law. I had Moses write the Law so that you would know that you are sinful. But, I want to show mercy to you. I sent Jesus Christ to die for your sin. And his resurrection is what brings you life. All you have to do is believe in what Jesus has done for you. It really is that simple. I want to have mercy on you. And, when you put your faith in Me, in what God has done for you, I want you to live differently. I want you to live in love, doing what is best for other people. And, do not believe lies that the enemy may tell you, lies like I am mad at you, or that I condemn you for your sin. No my child I placed my wrath for sin completely and fully on my Son Jesus Christ. Your faith in Him is what saves you. Walk in the freedom and love and Spirit that I am giving you. Offer your life to me as your reasonable act of worship. I love you, I have always loved you, and I will always love you. My name is Jesus and I am the Lord.

Taco Night With Cathy~

I call this "taco night" with Cathy because she served delicious Mexican food: burritos, tacos, rice, beans and salsa. I felt at home both eating her meal and hanging out together. Even at the last minute Paul helped me with my email in sending a document overseas via email. That was much appreciated. The view to their home was amazing! Gorgeous city lights and green trees surrounding. That was a fun night!

Where Does My Provision Come from?

I feel like I am at an important crossroads in life. I'm 42. Single. Under-employed. Non-homeowner. Many things in my life are not how I planned it. Not how I wanted it. Still, this is where I find myself today. And, I am and have been in the process of making significant life decisions. Such as teaching abroad again. Getting a TEFL certificate. I'm not young anymore! I'm getting older. And, on the one hand, there is the beauty and freedom of choosing to do whatever I would like to do. Then, on the other hand, there is the (boring) option of doing what is necessary to do. But, what is necessary? How does one define it? Where is my center? And where or what, is my core? When I was in my 20s and 30s life could be so carefree. Now, as I'm entering my 40s, I feel like I need to be more responsible; what does that mean? I think it's better to stay with a group of people for a long time, whenever possible. But, staying underemployed in my current job is not a very lucrative option. I need wisdom. I need prayer. I need to get before the Lord and hear from Him what my next steps should be. And, yet, we have choices. So, what will I choose? That is my current situation. And, so, that is why I feel like, and recognize that, I am at an important crossroads in life. I'm choosing how to make the best life possible for myself, and indirectly my decisions impact others around me. But, I feel like my income coming in right now is not enough to support myself. This is irony. And, yet, my job is not my provider; the truth is that Jehovah Jirah is my Provider. This is truth; and, choosing the best life for me, is that not allright? Should I not want and desire this?

Suddenly, suddenly, suddenly...

I feel like right now in my life I am "riding a wave" of unexpected things. For example, last month I got a new car to use. That really changed my life, and gave me more freedom and flexability with my schedule. This month I have moved into a new place, so I have been adjusting to a new living arrangement. Betsy helped me with her time and car and strength and energy. And, though she wanted to help me from the moment she heard I was moving, the exact time and date of my move was suddenly determined, and she was able to be there for me. Tonight, Cathy invited me to dinner (suddenly) with her family. And, suddenly, Paul helped me with my online teaching application, and helped me fix the problem I was having with it. Again, suddenly!! And, last night, Nackwon and her ENTIRE family came to help me with my final moving plans, (you guessed it, "suddenly"). So many things unexpected have been happening lately to me. What do I make of it? And, also, Elizabeth invited me over to her place this week, so I will spend time with her, helping watch the kids. I am very grateful for a new car, a new living space, and for help with my move, and for help with my application, which all seemed to appear "suddenly". A new car, a new living arrangement, and new activities, are a few of the new/sudden things God has had in store for me lately.

What is Good for the Soul?

I'm sure everyone who reads this would be able to come up with their own list of things to do that are good for one's soul. Tonight I had just such an experience of one activity that lent itself to being good for my soul. And, so, I just wanna share that experience with you, the reader.

Once a month at our church we have a "family ministry night" where families from the church gather together and work. The work consists of bagging groceries which will then be used to give away for free to anyone in need in the local community.

So let me try to paint a picture for you of how the evening went for me. First of all, I was a little tired from a long day of work. And, I'm sure others were too. But, I told myself it was just one evening, and I was just checking it out to see what they do. So, after driving around the church parking lot for awhile I finally figured out where to meet, and parked my car (oh, the new car that God has loaned to me by the way). Immediately I saw the Frala family and the Kwik family walking so I knew I was in the right spot. And, we greeted each other and we talked together for a bit. Karen had us meet in a group and introduce ourselves and then prayed to begin our evening. We each had a table and a certain item to put in each grocery bag, and we all helped out. There was an old man there, he must have been in his 60s or 70s, with gray hair. And, the kids helped out too. So, as we were working we also chatted~I got to chat with Cathy and Nackwon. But, it wasn't just "chatting"~we were visiting. And, it was just fun on so many different levels. One, we were being together. And, two, we were serving together. The bags that we packed would be used to help someone else in need. And, three, we got to hang out and talk together afterwards some more. God also gave me another gift through Karen, and that was the gift of some free groceries for me (thanks Lord).

So, to sum up, I would suggest the following:
1. Being together is good for the soul.
2. Talking together is good for the soul.
3. Serving together is good for the soul.
4. Doing something nice for someone else is good for the soul (similar to number 3).
5. Laughing together is good for the soul (we had a few good laughs together too).
6. Seeing your friends is good for the soul (I ran into Cate's family that night too.)
7. Giving to others is good for the soul. God has a way of taking care of you when we extend ourselves to others, in "big or small" ways.
8. Sharing life together is good for the soul.

Let us, let me, be a person who enters in to living a life that is "good for the soul".

God is so kind to me...

God is so kind to me...
Today alone He did this:
He gave me a voucher to buy new shoes (Leslie)...
He sent me a friend to give me a warm hug (Nackwon)...
He gave me a key to enter my new home (Christine)...
He reminded me that He is praying for me (Elizabeth)...
He reminded me that I am loveable (Barbara)...
Everyday He is good, though I don't always see it or look for it.
May He remind me everyday of His goodness towards me, and towards others.
May He enable me to receive His love and share His love...
God is so kind, and I am so thankful...
To be continued...

We rEalLy DO NeEd eAcH otheR

I'm reading this book by Reuben Welch, a Nazarene, called, "We really do need each other". I highly recommend it to any person in Christian leadership, as well as any person interested in learning and practicing what it means to live by the Book, to live in community, to live in fellowship with one another.

One Pair of Shoes

My daily routine when I go to work is to change into my black work shoes once I arrive to my worksite. And, I keep the other pair of shoes in my locker in the locker room. So, yestrday, I accidently left in a hurry, and unknowingly left my regular shoes in the locker room and went home in my work shoes. And, when I arrived at work this morning, someone had actually cleaned out the locker room and my shoes were MIA-missing-missing in action! So, I was upset and my manager suggested I get a lock. However, my other manager gave me a coupon/voucher to buy a new pair of shoes, worth up to a certain amount ( I think like $30 ). Before I knew I was going to get the voucher I was upset, because I only have one pair of shoes. Well, upon further thinking about it, maye that's not totally true. I may have about 3 or 4 pairs of shoes, but I only wear one pair on a daily basis. After I thought about it some more, I realized God gave me a blessing with the shoe voucher. So now I get to go shopping for a new pair of shoes. Thanks, God! By the way, I did go to ACE Hardware store after work, and bought a cheap lock for $5.

Turning 13, Becoming a Woman

Turning 13, becoming a woman. Today one of our FLOW group members had a daughter turning 13. So we gathered together to bless her, lay hands on her, pray for her and give her words of encouragement from the Bible. It was a really beautiful time of women from a variety of generations and backgrounds, all followers of Christ, coming together to bless a young girl into womanhood.
I know in Mexican culture when girls come of age, at 15, have a special celebration called a quincinera. It is like a big party to celebrate a young girl's 15th birthday. And, in American culture many teens celebrate with a big party for their 16th.
I thought today's celebration was a unique and special way to celebrate, honor and acknowledge our younger sister growing up in Christ.

So today I got up, got ready for the day. Made breakfast and had a short conversation during b reakfast with one of my roommates, Linda. Went to morning worship service then met the women to pray for the 13 year old girl. Had lunch and a picnic with some friends from the church and went to parent's house to watch the superbowl football game. Had a visit with my brothers and ate snacks. Watching a little bit of house. Doing laundry and will go to sleep. Tomorrow is also my day off, what to do what to do?

Another option

I'm going to view another room tonight. I'm super excited about this one! It's a house full of kids, and the way I view it, a house full of LIFE!! So, I have to decide which I would choose, a quiet room in a quiet house, or living with a church family. To be continued...

Viewing a Room

So I put my ad online at craig's list for a room to rent at an affordable price. One lady contacted me as having a room for rent in the area that I am looking for, which is close to work and close to church. So, I met her tonight and she seems nice enough. And, her house is beautiful, with a pool, and big patio backyard. But, the living conditions seem similar to what I have now. She has renters, and while we might talk sometimes, it seems like it would be kind of a lonely place for me. I also may have another option living with a church family that I am more excited about!!

Decision Time~

So, on last Friday my roommates announced to me that my time of living there was over; O-V-E-R, over! Of course, I was stunned and upset, but since that time have gained a new perspective on the situation. First of all, like my good friend Nackwon said, our God is a good God, so we should FOCUS on that. So, I have positioned my mind to think about God's goodness, for this is true. Secondly, I believe that God indeed does move people on both voluntarily and involuntarily. In my case, He is moving me onto living elsewhere, involuntarily. This is being imposed upon me. Nevertheless, it is still God's hand at work to move me on. So, now I am getting excited about what HE is going to do next! I know, at this point, that I am supposed to live somewhere else. Now, it's just a matter of figuring out WHERE that might be. I deeply CRAVE the wisdom of godly people right now. What might you say to me? Another friend, Byron, told me that God will provide a place for me, as long as I keep looking. And, I think that He is right. On Sunday night I felt numb, as I was dealing with the shock and pain of being rejected. I ran into one of the church elders, Diane, and asked her to pray for me. I felt MUCH MUCH BETTER after she prayed for me. And, more stablized too. (What a sweet saint! I hope someday to be able to pray as sweetly and gently as her!) Anyways, so, I've been looking at craigs'list for roommates near my church and work for cheap. I've looked at a place in Fullerton but that didn't pan out. (It was an apartment sharing a bedroom with some college girls anyways). So now I am toying with the idea of moving back to Korea with a 3 month visa in hopes of finding a job while I'm there and changing my visa to a work visa once I got a job (most likely teaching English). I covet the wisdom of the saints. If you have any ideas for me, I'm listening!!!

An Unexpected Treat

So today I went to morning worship service at Anaheim Vineyard and looked for my friend Nackwon to sit with. Don gave me an invite for the International Students Valentine's Party. I think I would like to attend! And, Jane made a home made Korean cooked pork with kimchi and rice cake. I came home to cook rice and am just about to enjoy it. She had prepared it for some friends but she didn't see them at the church so she offered to give it to me. Wow~my lucky day! In this small way God showed me His love for me (onetheme of the morning service today). Thanks, God!!

Sorrow

So today I got a double dose of sorrow. First of all, I was feeling like "no one cares about me". Then, someone jokingly said they don't care about me really, and it stung me to the core and brought me to tears. The thing is, I know in my head that this is NOT true. Of course I have family and friends that DO care and love me, but the emotions have a strange way of making me sentimental. So, that was the first.

Then, I've been feeling disconnected from my roommates. And, they have VOTED me out! Ouch! So, I am being forced to find a new place to live by the end of the month. What I know in my head is that God is moving and will provide for me. And yet, a part of my heart is not certain that God will come through for me on my behalf. So this is my second sorrow of the day. God is in control, but right now I don't like the journey. Instead of being smooth it feels a little bit bumpy, and I don't like it.

A Friend Stays Over

My good friend Hanna came to visit this past week. What a blessing it was to see her, talk with her, and hang out together. My other friend, Nackwon, let us stay over her home. Nackwon offered us some WONDERFUL hospitality. She let us stay over her house, and we listened to Hanna share stories of her life. Nackwon put out fresh towels, shampoo, soap and body lotion for us and even prepared a Korean style breakfast, with kimchi and fresh fruit. I was thankful for her kindness, and from my point of view it was fun to see 2 of my friends meet and hit it off.

Gratitude Today

So lately I've been kind of bummed about my living arrangement. I live with 3 other gals and we each have our own room. But, one of the roommates has been out of town for the past 2 months, and I've been left alone with the other 2. I think what a wonderful opportunity for us girls to connect and live in community with each other. This was my unspoken expectation upon moving in. However, my actual experience in living with these women has been anything but. So disappointing. However, instead of dwelling on the disappointment I've decided to look elsewhere for my communal experiences. With my family. With my friends. With new friends too. I spent the holidays with my family. I visited with them more last week. And I made appointments with the girls to connect and reconnect. I feel this is God's way of pushing me out into new, mutually satisfying, edifying relationships! In addition, my roommates are not all bad. They have each contributed something of positive, tangible value to me. One girl lent me an extra bed she had so I could sleep on. Another lent me a desk to use. And a dresser too. I didn't have any of these when I came back from Korea. So, I do appreciate that the girls have helped me out in this way. And I need to choose to just keep thinking positively!

Scott Brown Wins Massachucets...

Scott Brown, a republican, wins the senate seat in the state of Massachucets. Wow, amazing!

Today was the weather from crayze-ville. Tornado warnings in southern California? I heard trees fell on cars. And, Ruby's restraunt near the beach closed down. I saw lightening and heard thunder. Very very unusual weather for southern cal.

On a brighter note, was so glad to visit with my family for a bit tonight. Just got picked up from my mom after work. Picked up some fast food from El Pollo Loco AND also from The Flame Broiler for dinner. Had dinner together and spent time talking together. Special because we don't usually get together as a family except for holidays and birthdays!! ha ha...a little sad but true...so, it was a nice time for us being together...good for the heart...and, good for the soul...

Sigh...they say it's gonna rain 3 more storms this week...stronger one tomorrow...strange for here...

Sticky Roommate Situation

I'm not sure if it's just me or what, but, living with roommates can be a challenge. In my situation we share a house rental together. What a wonderful opportunity! And, yet, what a tragedy too. It seems we don't "connect" well together. We all lead our own, separate lives. Too bad. Because, I believe people are designed to live in community. So, I'll do my best to live in harmony with these girls, but I feel so sad sometimes. Hello, I'm here. Don't ignore me please. Like, do I really have to always be the one to greet you first? And, if I don't talk with you first , would you even talk with me? We seem to share the bills together, but that's about it. I'm sure life was meant to be more than this! I'm certain of it!

Why Join a Home Group?

I am so glad I joined a home group. There are so many benefits to joining one. Friendships. Friendships with God. Friendship with other believers. Prayer. Prayer to God. Prayer with other believers. Praying for others. Letting others pray for you and lay their hands on you. Worship. Singing songs to God. Talking. Talking about life. The Bible. Learning from God and from each other. I am so glad, and so grateful for the homegroup I get to be a part of at this time in my life. I hope and believe that some of these friendships that are being formed now will last a lifetime. Some of the friends from the group are "old" friends from the past. Others are "new" friendships. But, I love this group, and have immense gratitude in my heart for our group. It is special. My heart feels so full right now. I feel full, fulfilled, and blessed. It is God having poured out his spirit on the group and giving life to us. Yaye, God!!! I hope that if you get a chance you too will join a home group. The benefits to you will last both now and a lifetime, into eternity. You will experience life, and more life!! I thank God for each person in our homegroup; what a blessing each person is, whether they realize it or not. And, that's it for now. Until next time...let's keep our eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.

Trajedy in Death

Senseless. Shock and disbelief. Anger. A range of emotions is what I feel after finding out about the death of a co-worker recently. She was only 18. Hit by a drunk driver. Why was she out so late Saturday nite? Where were her parents and/or guardians? Who can make sense of a young girl dying, when she had so much potential and life to live? What was the purpose of her life? What about God's perspective? When is a person "of age" in God's eyes to be responsible for knowledge of salvation? Was she saved? Where will she spend eternity? These are some of the questions I've been asking myself lately. These are some of the things that I've been grappling with lately. And, the pain her parents, not to mention her boyfriend, are going through. It breaks my heart to know their pain and deep grief. And, why her and not me, or someone else? Why did she have to die? It doesn't make any sense to me. And, the drunk driver; he's ruined his own life. He will have to sit in a jail for the rest of his life, if not the majority of it. He was only 37. So, not only did he ruin a young girl's life, but, he's ruined his own as well. My message is this: friends, don't let friends drive drunk!! Period. And, what about the bar owners? Should they not be held responsible too, after all, they're the ones who served the alcohol. This kind of thing happens everyday. It is especially sad when it hits closer to home. Makes me wake up and kind of take an inventory of life. Makes me want to tell all the people close to me how much I appreciate them. My second message is this: tell the people you love that you love them. Tell the people you appreciate that you appreciate them. Let the people around you know that you care, and are there for them. Make the most of every moment. This is the life. This is what I'm thinking about these days.